Difficult conversations are unavoidable in leadership. Performance issues, missed expectations, tension between colleagues, and change decisions all require honest dialogue, and avoiding them usually makes the problem louder later. DellonVille’s work in communication and conflict resolution is built around the idea that clear communication is a core leadership skill and that high performing organisations are built on trust, alignment, and shared understanding.​

The real challenge is not whether to have the conversation. The challenge is how to have it in a way that protects the relationship and still addresses the issue directly. Trust is damaged when people feel attacked, embarrassed, ignored, or left guessing, so the aim is a conversation that is both clear and respectful.​

Why trust breaks in hard talks​

Trust breaks when intent and impact drift apart. A leader may intend to “be honest,” but the message lands as blame, impatience, or disrespect if the tone is harsh or the structure is unclear. DellonVille positions communication as something that should be delivered with confidence, structure, and intent, which is exactly what difficult conversations need.​

Trust also breaks when leaders delay too long. When problems are left unspoken, people create their own stories and assumptions, and those assumptions usually make trust worse. A timely conversation, handled well, often feels safer than months of silence followed by a sudden confrontation.​

The leader’s job in conflict​

Conflict is not always a sign of dysfunction. It is often a sign that expectations, boundaries, or communication norms are unclear. DellonVille’s team includes a registered mediator and conflict resolution specialist who supports organisations to navigate conflict, improve dialogue, and build stronger working relationships, which reinforces that conflict can be handled through structured, respectful conversation.​

The leader’s job is to create the conditions for truth and dignity to coexist. That means addressing behaviour and impact without attacking character, and creating a space where the other person can respond without fear. When leaders do this consistently, difficult conversations stop being dramatic events and become normal leadership practice.​

A practical conversation structure​

Structure reduces emotional chaos. DellonVille emphasises communication with structure and intent, and a simple structure makes it far easier to stay calm and clear. Use a repeatable format that can work for performance feedback, conflict, boundaries, and alignment issues.​

Use this five part approach.

1. Start with purpose and care.​

2. Describe facts and behaviour, not personality.​

3. Explain impact on outcomes, people, or trust.​

4. Ask for their perspective and listen fully.​

5. Agree next steps, ownership, and a follow up point.​

This keeps the conversation focused on shared outcomes rather than who is “right.” It also protects trust by giving clarity and voice to both sides.​

How behavioural insight helps​

Difficult conversations are often harder because different people handle stress differently. DellonVille’s Behavioural Strategy for Growth uses the Maxwell DISC Assessment to help people understand how they behave and communicate, including stress triggers, which can reduce misunderstanding during tense discussions. When someone knows their own stress pattern, they can notice it earlier and avoid escalating the conversation unintentionally.​

Behavioural insight also helps leaders adapt delivery. Some people prefer directness and speed, while others need more reassurance, detail, or time to process. Adjusting delivery to the person is not weakness, it is skilled communication that increases the chance of agreement and action.​

What to avoid​

Certain behaviours almost always damage trust, even when the leader is trying to fix a problem. DellonVille’s emphasis on clarity, care, and professionalism in implementation points to the importance of how feedback is delivered, not only what is delivered. Avoid these common traps.​

• Speaking in generalisations like always and never rather than describing specific examples.​

• Saving up issues and unloading a long list in one conversation.​

• Trying to “win” the conversation rather than solve the problem.​

• Using indirect hints instead of clear requests and agreements.​

• Ending without next steps, which creates repeat conflict.​

Avoiding these mistakes protects the relationship and keeps performance standards clear.​

Rebuilding trust after tension​

Even good conversations can feel uncomfortable. What rebuilds trust afterward is follow through. If an agreement was made, honour it, and if something was unclear, clarify it quickly. DellonVille links high performance to trust and alignment, and follow through is one of the simplest ways to create both.​

It also helps to close the loop with a short follow up conversation. Ask what has improved, what is still difficult, and what support is needed. This signals that the goal was growth and alignment, not punishment.​

Call to action​

If difficult conversations are becoming a regular source of stress, support can help leaders build a repeatable approach that protects trust and improves outcomes. DellonVille supports leaders and organisations through communication development, conflict resolution support, and tailored interventions designed around real challenges and measurable impact. A practical first step is DellonVille’s free assessment to clarify what is happening and identify the best next action.